Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

How are you? How about the elves, the reindeer, and Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone had a great year. I was a very good girl this year.

I didn’t ground the children for life. Yes, I know I threatened to. Maybe that was bad? But I didn’t do it.

I showed my husband I loved him. Okay, so he sometimes doesn’t listen, and his side of the closet is still a mess. Oh, and the car still makes that funny noise when I brake, but that’s okay, I still hugged and kissed him every day. Even when he really made me mad and even when the kisses were done while he was sleeping since I wasn’t talking to him.

I was a good girl at work, too. I didn’t fire anybody all year. Well, except that one girl, but she really deserved it. Oh, and there was that guy too, but he had been warned.

So, for the most part, I’ve been a very good girl this year. You didn’t see that little altercation at the grocery store did you? That was totally not my fault. She cut in line. Someone had to put her in her place. Besides, she only got stitches. It could have been much worse. By the way, when you get my sister’s letter, don’t believe it. I wasn’t nearly as mean as she says.

Okay, so maybe I wasn’t the best girl all year, but for most of the…

Who am I kidding? Just take whatever I could have gotten and donate it to a good charity. I’ll take my lump of coal. I’ve been meaning to light a fire under someone anyway.

Love,

Claire Collins